this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
