whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The air was thick with penises
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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