He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
