Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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