Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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