Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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