I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
