Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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