It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
