I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
