In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
