Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
