talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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