my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
