She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
