why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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