omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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