I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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