The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
