Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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