is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You've changed since you got that strap on
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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