I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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