Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize
