I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
