i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
