They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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