Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
