i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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