My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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