I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
