I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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