I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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