I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
