If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
two words: eviction party
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
