ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
