no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
