the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
