I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
