I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
