i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
