I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
