Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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