My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
