Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
