maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
