im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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