There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
