You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
