in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
how does that bad decision feel?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
