She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
