what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
