Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
