dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
